Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
