I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
