Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just high enough for therapy.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
