that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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