Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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