wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
