i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
