i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
