Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
