i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
