Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
