Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
