you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
