If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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