The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
