i would punch a child for taco bell
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
