Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
