Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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