if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
