Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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