This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
