at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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