I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
