I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
