On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
