I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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