I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize