Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
