he wants to bone in the snuggie
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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