look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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