no, he came in my armpit
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
