is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize