Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
