You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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