This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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