I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
