Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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