Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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