Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
one two three fourrrrnication!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
