I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
