And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
