the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
