just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize