He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
