You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
someone owes me an orgasm
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
