doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
