butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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