I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
