so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
