Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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