I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
