I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
