It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
