Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
