i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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