I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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