drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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