Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
