Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
