dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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