just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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