I want to stick my p in your. b.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
