Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
