She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
