she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
