i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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